John in Northern California, playing in glacier fed stream, summer 1989

You were here for 17 years, you’ve been gone for 26.

You brought laughter, joy, arguments for the sake of arguments, basketball, opera and life to everything you did and everywhere you went.

I can’t pass a Baskin Robbins without remembering the smile you offered to everyone who entered the doors of the store you worked at. And you offered that smile from within your heart, not just on your face, which is why all your customers loved you so much.

I remember your first seizure and how scared all of us were, especially Mom. I remember the first time you were at my house without Mom and had a seizure. I felt so helpless but the doctors who were providing your care had given us good advice.

I remember your dreams. I remember your hopes. I remember your girl and how sweet she was. So grateful for the picture she brought Mom at your memorial service. The one taken the day before you left this world.

I remember your favorite team and how I picked your least favorite so we could argue over who would do better. I still can’t go to a basketball game without remembering how much joy you got from watching and playing the game.

I hope you know how much you influenced all our lives for good, even when you didn’t know it. I wish I had been a better example for you but you loved me regardless and I still love you.

You are the brother/son/friend/person we all miss and all still wish to have in our lives.

Days like today, the anniversary of your death, I am reminded how close you were to Anne and Dan … how loud you sang on Opera Rock … how you wanted to travel in outer space … how you could read faster than anyone I’ve ever met, before or since … how magnificent a person you were because you gave a damn about every single person you ever met.

You remain our favorite member of the family, no holds barred.

Thanks for keeping my chin up when I couldn’t do it myself.